Sometimes the good comes with an ugly

I’m not sure why but I feel like that whenever something positive happens, there’s always a negative.

My dad has been having issues with pain in his stomach.  He has gone through tests and endoscopies, and was told his GI tract is okay.. no cancers, no tumors, but he was diagnosed with Gastritis.  So he was told to keep eating small meals frequently and possibly gluten free.  Physically looking at him, he looks sick.  I’d say he’s lost at least 10 lbs.

He’s gotten more tests, including a chest x-ray.  And that is when the ugly came.  A mass showed up on the lower right lobe of his lung.  He had to get a CT scan a couple of weeks ago.  And I kept thinking and telling my mom “don’t worry, we don’t know what is wrong yet.”

My mom was diagnosed with Lung Cancer about 3 years ago.  She had surgery for stage 1 Lung Cancer.  My mom was never a smoker.  After her surgery, she just had to go back for scans.  And now just goes in for a scan once every year.  Thank goodness!  But I remember when my sister stayed in the hospital and took care of her.

So now back to my dad.  He saw a Pulmonologist today to get the CT scan read.  He was told he needs a biopsy… and that the mass that was found in his lung is most likely cancer.  So right now… we don’t know what stage and we don’t know what kinds of treatment(s) he will have to undergo.  I do know that my dad doesn’t want to go through chemo.

We already lost my sister last year… and I don’t want to have to lose another person… especially not right now when I thought we’d have something positive to finally look forward to.

Right now… It hasn’t hit me as much.  But I know it will sink in later.  And I know my mom is scared of what’s going to happen and the fact that she would have to deal with this on her own or take care of my dad on her own.

I’m not sure how to feel about everything just yet.