Baby It’s Cold Outside

It’s raining and gloomy in Southern California. Which is also giving me “gloomy” emotions. I have been feeling very negative about work. I know that the kind of work I’m in is highly competitive but can be very rewarding if I really work hard and put my heart and soul into this. I have done it during my first year. I became very obsessed about making placements and I was working non-stop. Lately, since things haven’t been going my way, I feel that my energy has been drained. I have also dedicated my after work hours to playing with my son and doing chores around the house. At work, my negativity has translated to other emotions such as being very bitter about other people’s success. I used to be happy when my colleagues were successful, now I feel as if that has made me just more angry that I cannot make things happen for myself. I have also found myself very irritated by certain co-workers… to the point that even the way their typing has bothered me.

On Tuesday, I decided to “change” some of my habits and started going to yoga class again on my lunch breaks. I can say that that 1 hour of “me time” has given me a different mindset. I also started looking up podcasts about changing my attitude. So on the way home from work, I started listening to the Productivityist Podcast which featured the creator of Focus@Will. I was mildly engaged… but I found myself tuning in and out throughout the conversations. I just find it quite hard to focus when people are speaking. I’m not sure if I have some sort of clinical problem, but this has always been a problem since I was a child. So Focus@Will is a music streaming application that “combines neuroscience + music to boost productivity and tune out distractions.” I’m willing to try anything to help me be more successful at work.

So apart from distractions, I have also noticed that I am the type to leave out certain words when I am typing. I’m not sure how common this is, but this has been happening since I was in grade school. I have also noticed that I think I’m great at multi-tasking lol. So at the moment, I’m at work, but I take breaks in between calls and update my WordPress.

So I’ve just downloaded Focus@Will… I’m on a 2 week trial so we’ll see how effective this is.

Aside from work… I think my biggest problem is keeping my marriage happy. It’s been hard work. I love being a mom. But that has taken over my duties as a wife. I’m failing at being a wife… maybe I should work on that first before being successful at work? Life is a tough balance.